My dream of being a writer

I have wanted to be a writer for a very long time. I would say ‘I have wanted to be a writer for as long as I can remember’, but that would be a lie. I wanted to be a vet, a teacher, a ballerina, an actor, one of the Pussycat Dolls, and someone who gave Barbie’s professional haircuts (full-time). But then, finally, a writer.

Growing up painfully shy gave me a lot of things; an ongoing fear of ordering my own food in restaurants, an awkward time at school and persistent fear of authority. Not great, I’ll admit, but-there’s one last thing it gave me- my writing voice. The thing with growing up as an observer, is that it gives you the ability to narrate what is going on around you in a way that transforms normal, everyday situations into stories that are unravelling in your mind.

I also grew up reading Louise Rennison books. Her main protagonist, Georgia Nicolson, captivated me. She was sarcastic, witty, self-deprecating and observant. These books were a godsend. She wrote about being awkward, unlucky in love, insecure and perpetually confused in a way that was hilarious, welcoming and warm. I started to write my own diaries in that tone, as an escape from whenever I felt like I was getting everything wrong.

Dear Reader

Today I thought I’d impress the boy I like by showing off my football skills at lunch time. It would be a shame not to, as I’ve been practicing my kicks in the back-garden with the cat (I want to clarify that it’s not the cat that I’ve been kicking, as that would be horrible, and in any case she’d be the one kicking me. She’s very feisty). When they were picking teams, everyone said that my position should be ‘as a goal post’. Not quite sure what I was expecting, but nevertheless, move over Cristiano Ronaldo, because I was the most hardworking post on that field. Side note: There was only two of us in the position of ‘goal post’, and I’m pretty sure Izzy sat down after five minutes.

E.

Or,

Hello reader,

Today I auditioned for a big role in the school play. It went really well, except I didn’t get any of the parts I wanted, and got cast as ‘Ant and Dec’ instead. Then I think the teachers realised it would be ridiculous for me to play both Ant and Dec, so now I’m Ant, and Izzy’s Dec. Or, I’m Dec? And Izzy’s Ant? I’m not sure. All I know is that two blonde people under 4ft tall taking on the roles of famous Geordie men will be my most intense experience of method acting thus far. I’m just glad to have a speaking role.

UPDATE: Today the teachers informed Izzy and I, that there would be some ‘minor changes’ made to our speaking roles. This being that the part in which we ‘speak’, has been cut out. We are now acting as Ant, Dec AND the judges, and we are only allowed to do a thumbs up or a thumbs down to the people performing.

UPDATE 2: I have been practicing the thumbs thing in the mirror.

UPDATE 3: Why are Ant and Dec in a show about vampires playing the guitar anyway?

E.

Now, this is obviously a slightly embellished version of my old diaries, because I definitely didn’t use the word ‘thus’ when I was seven, and I have cut out all the pages that had ‘I want to marry Ron Weasley’ written on them. But nevertheless, I had found my tone. Suddenly I found solace for when awkward things happened, because I knew they had the ability to make stories that would make people laugh. This is exactly the way I do it now, I write about topics that, on the surface, are tough; heartbreak, body image and loneliness. But I want to do it in a way that is accessible, that lets people know that we are ‘in it together’.

I’m going to finish with a Nora Ephron quote that I think sums up what writing is for me:

“Above all, be the heroine of your own life.”

Writing helps me understand what is happening around me, to reflect on how I’m feeling, and to make sense of my own life. I write for myself, yes, but also so others can relate to the universal topics that I’m so often drawn to write about. Create stories, give yourself a narrative, and give yourself a voice. I’m clinging on to the hope that If I work really hard at this, then maybe one day I will have my dream job as a professional writer. If not, then I wonder if the Pussycat Dolls are looking to hire?

Elle